Learning in the Gush with my Son

Parshat Matot-Maasei 5786

I’m writing this dvar Torah from the Gush, where Aryeh Lev and I have been studying Torah for the last few days. It has been an extraordinary experience. At first, I had doubts about going. Would we succeed in learning together all day? Would he be able to sit for so long? Would I be able to sit for so long?! But when I asked him whether he was interested in coming with me to yeshiva and he answered, emphatically, “Yes,” my doubts fell away. During our learning, we made sure to pace ourselves with snack breaks. We played football on the beautiful lawn outside the yeshiva, made sure to catch the end of Argentina’s victory against Egypt, and schmoozed about life. But the rest of the time, we tried to buckle down and learn.

I want to share with you a piece of Torah that we learned together regarding Tisha B’Av, which captures a beautiful idea about the essence of Torah study and what it has been like studying together this week.

The Shulchan Aruch writes in Siman 554:1 that one is prohibited from studying Torah on Tisha B’Av. The reason is that studying Torah brings us joy, as it says in Tehillim - פקודי ה׳ ישרים משמחי לב. The one exception to this rule is the study of Torah associated with calamity and churban, such as the Book of Iyov, Sefer Yirmiyahu, or the laws of aveilut.

Aryeh Lev was curious whether this applies to children as well. The Shulchan Aruch writes that indeed even children, who are referred to as תינוקות של בית רבן, are prohibited from studying Torah, apparently for the same reason: because it makes them happy. When Aryeh Lev heard this, his immediate reaction was that learning Torah does not bring joy to most kids. All kids want to do is be OUT of school! To this I countered: perhaps kids were different back then, when they didn’t have YouTube, Minecraft, or Netflix…

After the Shulchan Aruch, we examined the Aruch HaShulchan’s analysis of this sugya. Lo and behold, the Aruch HaShulchan asked Aryeh Lev’s exact question: why should children be prohibited from learning Torah when there is no joy in the learning experience - ויש להבין בטעם איסור תינוקות אי משום שמחה ודאי לית להו שמחה כשלומדים?! He supports this argument with a well-known Midrash claiming that the Jewish people were punished when they left Har Sinai because they ran away just like children who run away from school - כתינוק הבורח מבית הספר.

This brings us back to our original question: why are children prohibited from studying Torah on Tisha B’Av if Torah does not bring them joy? The Acharonim debate this exact point:

#1 - The Magen Avraham argues that the act of studying Torah does not bring joy to children. However, a child does derive pleasure from knowing that he can read the words. The joy stems from a feeling of achievement, regardless of the level of understanding. The practical consequence of this approach is that it widens the scope of the prohibition. If it is all about being able to read, then a child may not read even the parts of the Torah that speak about calamity and destruction. Alternatively, if the child does understand, then the prohibition would certainly apply.

#2 - The Taz agrees with the premise that children do not receive joy from learning Torah. However, their teachers do get joy from teaching! For this reason, the teachers are not allowed to teach, even though the children themselves may be allowed to learn.

#3 - The Aruch HaShulchan provides his own compelling answer to this question, which is also beautiful and uplifting in its own right. The Aruch HaShulchan points out that most Rishonim follow the opinion of Rav Yehuda in Ta’anit 30a, that adults may not study Torah on Tisha B’Av even if the subject is foreign to them. This is problematic, according to the Aruch HaShulchan, because when studying a new section of Torah, it is often strenuous and challenging, and may even bring צער, distress, to a person. If so, perhaps it should be permitted to study new or unfamiliar topics on Tisha B’Av.

Using this idea, the Aruch HaShulchan argues that engagement in Torah study, by its very nature, makes us happy and causes distress at the same time. It gives us happiness because deep down, our souls yearn to connect to Torah and to Hashem. Our souls yearn for depth and meaning. Torah is the ultimate source of meaning. Yet it also causes distress because the Torah is vast and beyond mastery, and therefore engagement with Torah study is humbling and demanding. This explains why Chazal use the phrase יגיעת התורה, the toil of Torah, when describing Torah study.

Rav Yehuda believes that even if there is an added element of tza’ar in studying new material on Tisha B’Av, that does not negate the spiritual pleasure that we experience while studying. Because the joy overpowers the distress, Torah study is prohibited on Tisha B’Av.

What is true for an adult is also true of a child. Kids would usually prefer to have fun than study Torah. However, even for a child, studying Torah fulfills a deep thirst that only Torah can fill. This is why Torah study is prohibited for children as well.

While this piece of Torah may touch upon a narrow question in the laws of Tisha B’Av, I believe it captures something much broader and deeper. In a world of so much change, anxiety, and stress, there is one thing that never changes - our Torah values. They are our foundation and the essence of our being, כי הם חיינו ואורך ימינו. When we connect to our essence, it fills a deep thirst in our souls for meaning and connection.

At the same time, studying Torah is not easy. It is demanding, and it is not always easy to find time in our busy schedules. This week back in yeshiva was uplifting, joy-filled, and also challenging. Sitting in yeshiva full time takes patience and endurance. But as we often know in life, it is the really hard things that bring us the most happiness. And being able to study with my son made it all the more special.

A bracha for us all: may we all merit to connect with our children through Torah study, והשיב לב אבות על בנים ולב בנים על אבותם.